Post by Nick on Dec 9, 2017 8:36:26 GMT
Comparing the F7 to Christmassy Things:
Jeff - The Grinch
Jeff is very clearly the Grinch at this point. His ass has flipped back and forth so many times that at this point both sides of his pancake are burnt to a crisp. The Grinch wants to steal Christmas (FTC, chances of me winning) and it's practically here (we are at the F7). And here's the deal, the Who's know the Grinch is not to be fucked with, but yet, they still climb the mountain he lives on, and ask him to be the holiday cheer mister, and generally fuck with his life, so obviously the Grinch is gonna snap and steal Christmas, but at this point Cindy Lou Who self has seen Christmas be practically ripped from my grasps twice at this point, so fuck a third time, I'll invite the Grinch to come be holiday cheer mister once again, but this time I'm gonna know when to send the Grinch's ass back to Mt. Crumpit by way of garbage disposal. And I love the Grinch, the Grinch is a likable character, but I don't believe that the Grinch's heart has grown three sizes just quite yet so I will not put myself at risk to have Christmas stolen from me.
Jeff to me trying to make me forget he's burned me twice:
Me to me if I let the Grinch burn me again:
Jenn - All I Want For Christmas IsFinal 2 You
Me at the inevitable tribal council when we get split up/ (hopefully) me when we are sitting together at FTC:
I mean, do I really have to explain this one? Obviously at this point you all know that Jenn and I are some type of showmance/pair/duo/soulmates so it's only fair that she gets the biggest Christmas jam of all time. I mean, it's a classic, you know what you're gonna get with it, it's a bop. Plus I think I can make a genuine argument that my version of the song is better, but I'm sure this song thinks the same. Regardless, this is the song the Christmas Season needs to be a well-rounded, consistent, interesting till the end, season.
Austin - The Charlie Brown Christmas Tree
At this point in the game, while the Christmas Tree is not the desired type, has managed to become somewhat endearing. The tree likes me because I've been looking out for it (and the tree has also been looking out for me, by way of being cheap as fuck so I could afford to buy it) like so:
But, it's come to the point where it is no longer beneficial for me to keep the tree around, and the tree knows it's going on it's final days, as demonstrated by Charlie Brown, so the tree is feeling frustrated. The tree is endearing, but that's what makes it dangerous because if I continue to keep this tree in my house the thing could dry out and cause a giant fire, thus burning down my entire house because although it's small you cannot underestimate it's ability to fuck shit up, so it's time to toss the tree outside. But, hopefully the tree has appreciated the time I have put into it that although it will not make it to Christmas, it will hopefully give back by way of allowing me to use it as firewood.
Steffen - Flick from A Christmas Story
So first, a disclaimer: I've never actually seen all of this movie because Ralphie is annoying as FUCK so I just cannot make it through. But with that being said, my ass has seen this scene and literally nothing describes Steffen's gameplay at this current point as well as the following:
Like Flick, who decided to touch his tongue to the icy pole, Steffen has also made major mistakes in this game. He's been to 4 TC and voted Jeff at 3 of them. He went rouge by himself and cast a vote for Jeff at the F9 thanks to me (I know it's a weak move, but strategy hasn't been great this season across the board so let me live) which pretty much fucked up his whole game. Flick is perpetually making mistakes and while people don't have much concern for his role in the movie, this scene shows his own mistakes, but also those who want to "help" him get unstuck. Hopefully he see's me (idk who that would be, the teacher?) as somebody like that.
Don - Spongebob in Christmas Who?
If Don is Spongebob then in this scenario I am Squidward.
Basically, in this scenario Don and Teddy are Patrick and Spongebob getting all excited for Christmas ("Final 4") but my skeptical Squidward self doesn't know if I believe in this whole Santa Claus business, so I'm kinda watching them put on this show trying to figure out if they are actually telling the truth or not.
Them:
And me whenever Spongebob tells me all he wants if for my Christmas wish to come true:
So at this point I'm just trying to figure out if Spongebob is doing this elaborate dance for show, changing up the background to confuse me, or if he's being sincere:
Teddy – Santa Tell Me, Ariana Grande
Like Ariana asks in the song, I need to know if Teddy is somebody who is going to stick around and not ditch me right before the Christmas Eve party (Final 5). Because I really want him to be genuine about the Final 4, but I know that that would mean him going to the F4 with me and Jenn, and that puts him in a sticky situation, so it’s hard for me to put my full trust in him. Because, as Ariana says in the next line:
So, I just really need to know if that Mistletoe is F4 because I will gladly go to the F4 with The Naughty List™ crew, but if I’m gonna get ditched for the Grinch, then the Grinch’s ass needs to go at the F6 and I’ll take Flick to the Christmas Eve party because even though it isn’t ideal, Flick is less likely to blow me off at the party.
So Santa (John Wilson) just tell me if he’s really there, because if he is, this is me:
But if he’s not…
All I have to say at this point is this will be me trying to figure out Who Can I Trust™:
Jeff - The Grinch
Jeff is very clearly the Grinch at this point. His ass has flipped back and forth so many times that at this point both sides of his pancake are burnt to a crisp. The Grinch wants to steal Christmas (FTC, chances of me winning) and it's practically here (we are at the F7). And here's the deal, the Who's know the Grinch is not to be fucked with, but yet, they still climb the mountain he lives on, and ask him to be the holiday cheer mister, and generally fuck with his life, so obviously the Grinch is gonna snap and steal Christmas, but at this point Cindy Lou Who self has seen Christmas be practically ripped from my grasps twice at this point, so fuck a third time, I'll invite the Grinch to come be holiday cheer mister once again, but this time I'm gonna know when to send the Grinch's ass back to Mt. Crumpit by way of garbage disposal. And I love the Grinch, the Grinch is a likable character, but I don't believe that the Grinch's heart has grown three sizes just quite yet so I will not put myself at risk to have Christmas stolen from me.
Jeff to me trying to make me forget he's burned me twice:
Me to me if I let the Grinch burn me again:
Jenn - All I Want For Christmas Is
Me at the inevitable tribal council when we get split up/ (hopefully) me when we are sitting together at FTC:
I mean, do I really have to explain this one? Obviously at this point you all know that Jenn and I are some type of showmance/pair/duo/soulmates so it's only fair that she gets the biggest Christmas jam of all time. I mean, it's a classic, you know what you're gonna get with it, it's a bop. Plus I think I can make a genuine argument that my version of the song is better, but I'm sure this song thinks the same. Regardless, this is the song the Christmas Season needs to be a well-rounded, consistent, interesting till the end, season.
Austin - The Charlie Brown Christmas Tree
At this point in the game, while the Christmas Tree is not the desired type, has managed to become somewhat endearing. The tree likes me because I've been looking out for it (and the tree has also been looking out for me, by way of being cheap as fuck so I could afford to buy it) like so:
But, it's come to the point where it is no longer beneficial for me to keep the tree around, and the tree knows it's going on it's final days, as demonstrated by Charlie Brown, so the tree is feeling frustrated. The tree is endearing, but that's what makes it dangerous because if I continue to keep this tree in my house the thing could dry out and cause a giant fire, thus burning down my entire house because although it's small you cannot underestimate it's ability to fuck shit up, so it's time to toss the tree outside. But, hopefully the tree has appreciated the time I have put into it that although it will not make it to Christmas, it will hopefully give back by way of allowing me to use it as firewood.
Steffen - Flick from A Christmas Story
So first, a disclaimer: I've never actually seen all of this movie because Ralphie is annoying as FUCK so I just cannot make it through. But with that being said, my ass has seen this scene and literally nothing describes Steffen's gameplay at this current point as well as the following:
Like Flick, who decided to touch his tongue to the icy pole, Steffen has also made major mistakes in this game. He's been to 4 TC and voted Jeff at 3 of them. He went rouge by himself and cast a vote for Jeff at the F9 thanks to me (I know it's a weak move, but strategy hasn't been great this season across the board so let me live) which pretty much fucked up his whole game. Flick is perpetually making mistakes and while people don't have much concern for his role in the movie, this scene shows his own mistakes, but also those who want to "help" him get unstuck. Hopefully he see's me (idk who that would be, the teacher?) as somebody like that.
Don - Spongebob in Christmas Who?
If Don is Spongebob then in this scenario I am Squidward.
Basically, in this scenario Don and Teddy are Patrick and Spongebob getting all excited for Christmas ("Final 4") but my skeptical Squidward self doesn't know if I believe in this whole Santa Claus business, so I'm kinda watching them put on this show trying to figure out if they are actually telling the truth or not.
Them:
And me whenever Spongebob tells me all he wants if for my Christmas wish to come true:
So at this point I'm just trying to figure out if Spongebob is doing this elaborate dance for show, changing up the background to confuse me, or if he's being sincere:
Teddy – Santa Tell Me, Ariana Grande
Santa (John Wilson?) tell me if you're really there
Don't make me fall in love again
If he won't be here next year
Santa tell me if he really cares
'Cause I can give it all away if he won't be here next year
Like Ariana asks in the song, I need to know if Teddy is somebody who is going to stick around and not ditch me right before the Christmas Eve party (Final 5). Because I really want him to be genuine about the Final 4, but I know that that would mean him going to the F4 with me and Jenn, and that puts him in a sticky situation, so it’s hard for me to put my full trust in him. Because, as Ariana says in the next line:
I'm avoiding every mistletoe until I know
It's true love that he thinks of
So next Christmas
I'm not all alone, boy
So, I just really need to know if that Mistletoe is F4 because I will gladly go to the F4 with The Naughty List™ crew, but if I’m gonna get ditched for the Grinch, then the Grinch’s ass needs to go at the F6 and I’ll take Flick to the Christmas Eve party because even though it isn’t ideal, Flick is less likely to blow me off at the party.
So Santa (John Wilson) just tell me if he’s really there, because if he is, this is me:
But if he’s not…
All I have to say at this point is this will be me trying to figure out Who Can I Trust™:
